Catch me, God

This is a poem I wrote quite a few years ago. It describes part of my journey. I pray that, if you have not been caught in God's wonderful arms, that you'll reach out and let him take control.

“Catch me God,” I cry.
See this carousel I’m on.
The nights and the seasons, stampeding, go by.
Dark pains and dark pleasures about me all fly,

and I cry,
“Catch me please, God – before I die.”

“Catch me God,” I cry, as the black in my heart edges in.
My life and my actions increasingly grey -
the good and the perfect are further away,

and I cry
“Catch me!
Please, God – before I die.”

“Catch me God,” I cry,
The carousel mirror cries back at me
It tells of a life full of sin beyond measure -
a self-centered life hurting those I should treasure

and I cry,
“Catch me please God – before I die.”

But I've found that

playing the game of catch-if-you-can
is something our God will not do.
I had to stop running,
reach out,
take His hand.
and listen to Him - then I knew.

That He was there all along seeing my plight.
He answered each time I prayed in the night.
He hurt when I hurt and He said when I cried

“I caught you my child, --
when I died.”

© 2008 Diane Gruchow

I Took a Fall

I took a fall.
I broke my knee.
I cried aloud
“How can this be?”

It was vacation.
T’was time for fun.
But now I sit here.
The deed is done.

What should I do now?
Four walls I see.
“Poor me.” I blubber,
“Poor me, Poor me.”

This silly poem came to me this week as I was sitting in my warm welcoming living room. The fire was burning in the stove. My darling was cleaning the house and I’d had a nice shower and breakfast and was feeling blue.

Poor me pity parties are powerless. They do no good. And more important than that, they are lies. I am not poor. I’m blessed beyond belief. Stuff happens to all of us - stuff that God doesn’t necessarily plan or cause. Stuff that puts our normal lives on hold sometimes causes us to wonder if God is there, or if He loves us. Sometimes, like with me, it’s only a broken bone that’s going to take a long time to heal. Sometimes it’s a broken heart that we feel may never heal. Sometimes it’s a bad situation that we believe is permanent – that we can find no way out of or an illness for which there is no cure. This last kind of stuff is what courage is made from. It’s the stuff that causes us to depend on the only one who can make beauty out of it all.

God’s love is so powerful. The knowledge that He is there for us, is walking the road with us, and is lifting us up when we can’t hold ourselves, is what gives us the strength to go on – to move beyond ourselves. God’s love is so obvious to me today. He shows it to me in words from his Bible, in words from wonderful Christian authors, in gifts of food, flowers, and videos from friends, in visits and phone calls and cards. God warms me when my darling husband humbles himself to treat my wound and exercise my worthless muscles. God hugs me when Ron hugs me - when God’s people hug me.

I read recently, that sometimes trouble is an opportunity, something God has trusted us with to use for his glory. I can’t use anything for his glory if I’m stuck in my pity party. So what’s the answer? Try to look outside of the party. When you’re given the opportunity to use the happenings of your life to glorify God, attempt to look at God’s hand outside of the happening. You may see God's face in a beautiful sunrise, a phone call from a friend, a warm hearth, or a helping hand. Each one of these is a gift from God. Will you give him the glory?

James 1:17 says;
Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.

The Mesquite

Her name is Mesquite – she’s obstinate, resilient, defiant and resourceful. Resourceful, yes! Her taproot may go down more than 50 feet into the ground to search for life-giving water. Defiant, yes! Her needle sharp thorns grow up to 3 inches long and can puncture a sneaker or even a tire. The thorns at the ends of her branches protect them from hungry, eager animals. She’s beautiful to the traveler, offering shade and shelter.

She’s an abomination to the rancher as he believes that she strips the soil of moisture needed to make the rangeland grasses flourish.

She is shelter and food to the wild animals. The coyote, wild turkey, ground squirrel, jackrabbit and javelina eat her fruit, leaves, flowers and seeds. The bees make honey from her nectar. She enriches the soil with nitrogen which feeds the saguaro, other cacti, and a variety of desert plants.

She is my shelter today. The hot desert sun is trying its hardest to set me ablaze, but Mesquite’s tiny leaves are topped with small fuzzy hairs designed to deflect the sun’s harshest rays. She is waving her arms in the breeze, allowing only gentle sunshine through. I sit and I examine my benefactor. Her elephant hide reveals a scar on its largest trunk branch. Bark, like waves of fat, close in on the wound. I wonder what caused this beautiful blemish. As I look through the layers of branches and tiny leaves, patterns of sky are painted in blue. The canopy over my head reaches the ground in some places sifting out even more of the harsh desert light.

I’m so grateful that she was created for this time and that she is here in my desert sojourn. I sit and I relax and I ponder. How long has she been sheltering, is her job nearly finished? What has she seen in the years she’s been allowed to live and grow? What does she see when the desert moon brightens the night? When the coyotes howl and prowl, does she protect the tiny baby rabbits? As the javelina digs at the base of her trunks, does she wince with pain? Does she smile on this fanciful traveler resting under her branches?

Only her maker knows.

These my Christmas Dreams

Information

Who are you?

I’m told in the scriptures that we will know you by the works of your hand – by creation. So as I look around, I ask –

Are you like the mountains
piercing the sky,
proud and forbidding, where vast Glaciers lie?

Are you like those mountains – untouchably high?

Are you like the valleys
catching the snow,
the keepers of water for life down below?

Are you like the valleys – with life giving flow?

Are you like the river which grows in its quest
seaward and downward
from east and from west?

Are you like the river – never at rest?

Are you like the flower, the grass and the tree
protection and food for the bird and the bee?
Are you like these gifts – a refuge for me?

Oh God of the mountain, the river and glade
Oh God of the raindrops, the sunshine and shade
Oh God of the flowers, the springtime and fall
Oh God of creation – are you like them all

To high to reach
Too deep to Feel
To grand to know
If you are real.

© 2008 Diane Gruchow